Simpsons Quote Thread!!!!

[meatstick]

OK.... here it goes. i'm starting.

ralph: (in response to eating purple berries)

\"It tastes like burning!\"

[spauldazzio]

homer:

\"To alcohol. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.\"

http://www.staticon.net/Smileys/homer_beer.gif

[travelphan]

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star

Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.


http://usuarios.lycos.es/adrianku/simpsons/simpsons-the-homer-simply-irresistable-4003616.jpg

[amazed]

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/8/8c/222px-C-maggie.png
Maggie's first word: Daddah

Just for interest:
Who did the voice over for this historic event?
What is the name of the Chicago band based on this event?

[astroevan]

Two of my favorite:

My cat's breath smells like cat food

Seymour's bladder is full. Full of urine!

[chicken goddess]

HOMER: MMMMMMMM doughnuts!! :lol:

[montgomeryburns]

errrrr. I've been so dissapointed latley with the simpsons, they should make like the Phish and quit while there somewhat ahead still

[S.T. Snizzle]

Homer: (After being thanked by Lisa) No problem, any friend of Marge is a friend of mine.

[Pauly's Cheese]

Lisa (after coming home from getting lost at the theme park - where she drank the water on the boat ride):

\"Can't talk, comin down.\"

[sparkle]

don't get me started...

Homer: \"I've learned that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead\"

[sagenspirit]

\"Butter that bacon.\" -Homer.

[texashead]

Bart: Can I take the gun to school?
Homer, being the responsible parent: Only if you clean your room.

[sparkle]

I keep a bottle of schnapps in the baby's crib -Homer

[D-man]

Chief Wiggum commenting on Sideshow Bob: \"He called me Chief Piggum!\"

Courtroom bursts into laughter.

Chief Wiggum: \"Oh yeah, heh heh, now I get it.\"

[chulie]

Ralph! \"My mouth tastes like burning\" then his eyes dilated and he had one heck of an afternoon...
i also enjoy his \"i like to twirl\" cause i do too.

[Salmon]

\"I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura!\" Grandpa Simpson after being asked why his American flag only has 49 stars.

Probably a lot funnier to folks in Lawrence/KU than everwhere else.

I didn't go to one of the Simpson quote websites so what I wrote might be better described as paraphrasing.

[sparkle]

At hullabalooza music festival:

Bart: what is that smell?
Lisa: yeah, it smells like Otto's jacket

[greeny]

The three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, Cover for me. Number two,Oh, good idea, boss. Number three, It was like that when I got here.


Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You!

[sparkle]

welcome to the board, greeny, great one to come in on

i'm still laughing

[greeny]

I've been here, just havn't posted. Last year kicked ass!
We need Umphrey's McGee.
Waka, Waka!

Peace
Greeny

[NoMorePhishInTheSea]

<Homer on medicinal marijuana> \"Ahh that saxophone would make a nice pipe!\"[/img]

[K_Ride]

Good one greeny. Welcome to the board!!


\"Oooh donuts, my favorite flavor.....................purple\" ~ H. Simpson

[stormy]

Homer (on the golf course): MMMMMMM......open face club sand wedge.

[K_Ride]

[quote:dbea500f84=\"stormy\"]Homer (on the golf course): MMMMMMM......open face club sand wedge.[/quote:dbea500f84]

:lol:

[CrispyChrisBCritter]

http://www.mn12.org/images/misc/comicbookguy-worst-thread-ever.jpg

[CatFish]

Homer to Lisa: \"Never trust anybody\".
After the whole sludge deal between Lisa and Mr. Burns.

[chulie]

since my reading skills are appearently sub par (i repeat the very first quote....) im gonna uh, go again :oops:

\"otto spelled backwards is otto. woa! now im scared\"

[meatstick]

Homer: \"mmm.. tuba-muh-buh. saxa-muh-phone\"

[warren]

waiter: \"and to drink sir?\"

Homer: \"meatballs\"

waiter: \"very good sir.\"

I crack up every time I think about episode.. :wink:

[scottt]

Ralph: \"Super Nintendo Chalmers.\"


Otto to Homer, re: Marge \"Dude, your mom's hot!\"


Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace \"accidentally\" with \"repeatedly,\" and replace \"dog\" with \"son.\"


One of my favorite scenes is Moe hooked up to the lie detector:

Cop: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No.
[buzz]
Moe: All right, I did. But I didn't shoot him.
[ding]
Cop: Checks out. All right, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
[buzz]
Moe: A date.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner with friends.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner alone.
[buzz]
Moe: Watching TV alone.
[buzz]
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
[buzz]
Moe: Sears catalog.
[ding]
Moe: Now will you unhook me already? I don't deserve this shabby treatment!
[buzz]

:lol:

[spauldazzio]

Scott, one of my favs.
Love Moe.

Homer to Marge after being caught puffing in the bedroom:

\"I could walk right up to the president and blow smoke in his monkey face and he'd just have to sit there groovin' on it.\"

http://www.drugs-plaza.com/pictures/funny/Homer_Gettin_Stoned.jpg

http://cabanedebart.free.fr/PROMOCARDS/DABF11.gif

[sparkle]

Bart: \"we were just planning the father son river rafting trip\"
Homer: \"heh, you don't have a son.

[operator_headspace]

here are 2 more:

ralph after eating tomacco: \"tastes like grandma\"


Marge: I think the money should be spent on something the whole town can be proud of.
Homer: Like a giant billboard that says 'no fat chicks!'?

[S.T. Snizzle]

while laughing at this thread a commercial came on with a pretty funny one id never heard:
Homer (doing reps with free weights): 7, 8, 9, 13, 64, banana.....

[Chaloupka]

Flanders - My neighbor Homer let a radioactive ape loose in my house, and now it has taken over the whole top floor.

Bart - It wasn't Dad's fault. The ape tricked him.

[Chaloupka]

If its clear and yella, you've got juice there fella.
If its tangy and brown, you're in cider town.

[Dypshit]

Homer: \"I'll have your finest food stuffed with your second finest food, please!\"

Waiter: \"Ahh, Lobsters stuffed with Tacos, sir! Excellent choice!\"



Homer (After pouring beer in Linguo's mouth): \"I'm sorry Lisa, I thought he was a party robot....\"



Homer: \"Oh yeah, well today I got a promotion and its all thanks to YES-I-CANnibus\"

[scottt]

[quote:328afd335b=\"Dyp****\"]Homer (After pouring beer in Linguo's mouth): \"I'm sorry Lisa, I thought he was a party robot....\"[/quote:328afd335b]

If forced to choose only one episode, this one is probably my favorite!

Marge [after slicing off Homer's thumb]: We've gotta get to the hospital, Homer!
Homer: Okay. If the doctor asks why you cut it off, you caught me in bed with four beautiful women!

As always, SNPP.com has a detailed review including a timeline of all the events (the story is re-told three times in the episode from different characters POV): http://www.snpp.com/episodes/CABF14

[sparkle]

The episode where Lisa becomes a vegetarian:

Lisa: what's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?
Bart: This one spent two hours in the broiler.


Kent Brockman, on Smartline: Homer, how do you respond to people saying your men are committing more crimes than they're preventing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
*awkward pause*
Kent: Touche

[Dypshit]

Crazy guy with big eyes - \"Ah Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssss.........\"
\"ah, no.....ah, no......
\"Ah, Yeeeeeeeessssss...........\"


Another one....

\"Ah, Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...........\"

[meatstick]

moe: \"Homer.. with your right arm and my head gunk, we'll make it all the way to the top!!\"

[TeamB]

Homer: I can't live the buttoned down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my ****y stride and musky odor - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?

[soulacious]

Marge: I love my Homey Romey Domey.
Homer: And I love my Margy, Pargy, Fargy, Largy, Cargy, Fargy, Pargy.
Moe: I might have dodged a bullet here.

[droopy]

This thread needs some serious bumpage..here goes.

Kent brockman as they cut to live broadcast:

\"how can i prove we're live? PENIS!\"

Flanders after sending bart and homer to hawaiian leper colony:

Flanders: \"Well kids it looks like we'll have to have an imagination Christmas this year.\"

Rod and Todd: \"Yayy imagination Christmas!\"

[droopy]

heres another good ralph one:

when everyone dresses up in cowboy outfits for school:

Lisa: \"I'm Annie Oakley\"

Ralph: (While laying on ground): \"I'm a gulch!\"

[bubblerman]

Hey! somebody done stoldid my wheeels

[allterrainhiker]

Upon Homer's agreement to enter the witness protection program and to change his family name to Thompson:

FBI Agent #1: Ok, when I stamp my foot three times, point to my nose, blink twice, look you in the eye and say, \"Hello Mr. Thompson\", you say, \"Hello.\" Do you understand, Homer?

Homer: Right

FBI Agent #1 stamps foot three times, points to nose, blinks twice, looks Homer dead in the eye and says, Hello, Mr. Thompson.\"

Homer whispering slyly to FBI Agent #2: I think he's talking to you!

Fave Quote #2

One of Fat Tony's goons: Franky Tight lips, where you hurt?

Franky Tight Lips: I ain't saying nothing.

Goon: What do you want me to tell the doctor?!?

Franky Tight Lips: Tell'em go suck a lemon.

[operator_headspace]

allterrainhiker - That part w/ homer and the FBI is classic. I love how they are wearing hats and shirts that say WPP for witness protection program.

here's another one

From the episode where Homer graduates from college and proceeds to burn his high school diploma and house at the same time:

Homer: I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.

[Dypshit]

Movie Usher - \"I'm sorry sir, but I can't put butter on the milk duds...\"

Homer - \"Oh yeah, well your not supposed to go to the bathroom without washing your hands, either.\"

Usher - \"Touche\"

Homer - \"Swim my pretties........\"

[wardo]

Marge: \"Homer, the plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday.\"

Homer: \"WOO HOO! Four Day Weekend!\"

*******

Homer: \"Oh sure Marge, everything is bad if you remember it.\"

*******

Homer: \"Doughnuts! Is there anything they can't do\"

*******

Homer Singing (To the Theme Of The Flintstones): \"Simpson. Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree YAHHHHHHH!\"

*******

Lisa: \"I want to talk to President Clinton about a rigged band competition. NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO AL GORE!\"

*******

Homer: \"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find a half an hour a week to get funky.\"

[allterrainhiker]

Home : I can't come into work today I have the chicken pox.... Yes, I said that last month.... Well I was lying. Right..... Gotcha.... Yep, I love you too. I got fired. Time to check the want ads. Oooh! Truck driver wanted in Iraq..... Trucks are like big cars.

[droopy]

MORE CLETUS:

(sittin on porch with brandene)

Cletus: I can use all 4 'o my teeth now.

Brandene: Where'd you get another tooth?

Cletus: Side-walk

(After makeup test pigs released from carnival)

Brandene: Cletus, if i catch you with lipstick on yer collar again I ain't lettin' you sleep in the barn no more!

Cletus: Duly noted

(while dumpster diving behind the quickie mart)

Cletus: Look Brandene! Cardiboard tubes!

Brandene: Now we can have indoor plumbin' like they's got at the Women's lockup.

Cletus: That place changed you Brandene, sometimes I don't even know who you are...

[bzim347]

Homer, talking to missionaries

\"But i don't even believe in jebus!\"

When he realizes its too late to get off the plane:

\"SAVE ME JEBUS!!!\"

[allterrainhiker]

The scene zooms into to a bathroom and you can see Homer's bald head as he sits on the john singing: I've been sittin on the terrrlet. Alll the live long day...\"

[droopy]

Here's another ralph one:

(on seeing homer unconscious)

Ralph: \"you're like my mommy after a box of wine.\"

[jazzphreak66]

This one was just on a rerun last night:

Homer: \"There's Jimmy Page, the greatest thief of American black music who ever walked the earth.\"

[worldbefree]

Bart, upon quitting his first job, \"That's it I've had it. Work is for suckers!\"
Homer replies, \"Boy, I'm proud of you, why I was twice your age before I learned that valuable lesson!\"

[WPPhan]

\"My doctor never told me, I had to hear it from Phish.\" (Medicial Weed)

\"For your eyes the best tonic is Chronic\"

[allterrainhiker]

Hens love roosters, geese love ganders,
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

Homer: Not me!

Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

[cosmicfool]

nuff' said

[CrispyChrisBCritter]

http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season12/computer5.mp3
:twisted:

[widespreadcleveland]

not sure of the exact line but from waht i rember.

homer: i own a gun so the king of england wont come and boss me around

homer: boy i said butter your bacon

and the whole beer barron epsiode

[Boone]

I have many favorite quotes, but here's a question for ya-

WHO's YER FaVORITE SimPSON's CAMEO CELEBRITY or CELEBRETIES?

[allterrainhiker]

[quote:13d2e4b104=\"Boone\"]I have many favorite quotes, but here's a question for ya-

WHO's YER FaVORITE SimPSON's CAMEO CELEBRITY or CELEBRETIES?[/quote:13d2e4b104]

Michael Jackson!

[DUPREE DIAMOND]

Jasper: I want some taquitos

[twirlchic17]

\"Stupid sexy Flanders!\"

I'm not sure how to quote it but when US Flanders and Canada Flanders get into their \"diddly doodly\" bit, I cried and pulled a stomach muscle!

\"This guys wearin' a wire-\"

Lisa: \"Dad's having and antacid trip again!\"

Grandpa: \"Homer is not a communist.
My Homer may be a liar, a pig, an iditot, a communist, but he is NOT a pornographer.\"

[worldbefree]

The Homapalooza episode, when Homer is asked to join as part of the freak show.
Marge,\"You know just because someone asked you to join a traveling freak show doesn't mean you have to go. You don't have to go!\"
Homer, looked wounded and surprised, \"You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people.\"

[randall747]

My favorite episodes off the top of my head are Mr. Sparkle and Frank Grimes.

I liked how scared Homer was when he saw the box. Mr. Sparkle for besta lucky washa!!!

http://www.deadprogrammer.com/photos/sparkle4.jpg

There ya go fishbulb!


Grimy losing his mind was to funny.

http://capefeare.com/bio_grimes.gif

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/7333/pictures/moon.jpg

[queenbee]

I love the Mr. Pinchy episode.

[allterrainhiker]

I'm happy and angry!!!!